Natsume Hyuuga's Hate List
by His Lopsided Grin
Summary: #20: Butterflies. What's so nice about them? Last I checked they have the ugliest faces. Second to Mikan's. [A bit of a crack-fic. NxM. One-shot.]


**A/N: **This is a one-shot I thought of moments ago and yeah. C:

_Enjoy!_

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE.

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_Natsume Hyuuga's Hate List_

**#1: Ando Tsubasa**

That bastard gets in my nerves every single time.

"Shadow Prince"…

Tch.

More like the "Shadow Ass". He thinks he's so cool when all he does is make shadow puppets. And he touches _her_ a lot. Goddamn shadow-pedo.

**#2: Cats**

It's bad enough that I'm even called as one.

Those species puke hairball. They scratch the furniture. They smell.

And they try to get your attention when they know you're busy just like that annoying particular girl I know of.

**#3: Strawberries**

I hate them. They're too sweet for my taste. They also smell like Mik- I mean it smells bad. Like _really_ bad.

**#4: Persona**

Another sick bastard who has the talent to get me angry as much as Ando does and that polka-dotted _idiot_…

**#5: Flowers**

I hate those things especially if _she _wears it on her hair. It drives me insane… But not in a good way.

**#6: Imai**

Not only is she _her_ best friend but she's utterly a sadistic blackmailer. She's also a pig. She also prefers to marry "money". She's a piggy bank.

**#7: Children**

They cry too much. They laugh too much. They're just horrible little monsters with weird innocent faces that remind me so much of _her_.

And by "her", I meant Aoi.

… Yeah, let's go with that.

**#8: Narumi**

_She's_ a total idiot who needs freaking glasses.

Narumi is an old homosexual geezer. Isn't that just disgusting and absurd? How the hell did he- oh, excuse me, _SHE_ became the moron's favorite teacher?!

**#9: Polka Dots**

It's an old-fashioned pattern. Only a weirdo would still be wearing that kind.

It's a stupid design because it's just a bunch of circles. Whoever thought of that must be as artistic as a stone. You know, I just hate it.

**#10: Alice Academy**

I hate the cruel place and I'm planning to leave as soon as possible. Now, I hate it so much because it's harder to escape with _her_ around. Damn her!

**#11: Mr. Bear**

I hate just about every single bear too and they can all thank that stuffed toy.

**#12: Fluff Puffs**

Fluff Puffs suck.

They're like the evolution of cotton candies except they're even worse. It gives you stomach-ache and toothache. No wonder why that _moron's_ smile is so rotten.

**#13: Yellow**

That color is an eye-sore. It's too bright and _she_ also happens to wear them all the time in the weekends. Idiot's trying to destroy my sight.

**#14: Love**

Don't get me started on this one.

It's a disease I tell you.

I confess that I used to panic inside before when someone tells me "Love is in the air". That's because I'm very aware of the pollution we're starting thanks to the _idiot's_ "Global Warming" posters.

**#15: Myself**

I'm a cold-hearted, curt, arrogant and a narcissistic guy.

That's probably what everyone wants to hear. But really, I don't understand why I'm here.

I thought God only creates imperfect people but He tried to make things fair by giving me the limited alice.

And He also sent this angel- devil (I meant to write devil) to annoy me.

**#16: Santa Claus**

Is it only me who thinks it's rather disconcerting to have an old man to watch you sleep? Oh, that _dunderhead_ is just sick.

I bet _she_ wanted to show him _her_ brand new patterned underwear. Tch. Why the hell am I so bothered by him? Hell, he isn't even real!

**#17: Sun**

The sun is yellow. I mentioned before that I hate the color "yellow".

And _she_ told me that the sun is the hottest thing on Earth. Damn. She's too stupid to realize that _I'm _the hottest thing on Earth.

Not that I'm hoping she would.

**#18: Internet**

Whoever invented the internet is a total fool.

Now, anyone could violate _her _easily and they'd just send a friend request and that thick head would obviously accept it! She's so naïve and… Hn. Okay.

I'm officially activating my Facebook account again just for the amusement.

But I still hate the internet.

**#19: Pigtails**

The hairstyle is very childish. I don't like how there are two things swinging around in someone's head. The only thing that seems nice is to pull either one of them or both.

I recommend both.

**#20: Butterflies**

What's so nice about them? Last I checked they have the ugliest faces.

Second to Mikan's.

**#21: Vampires**

_She_ talks about them everyday ever since Twilight came out, then the Vampire Diaries.

Tch. They're just pathetic, low-life creatures who don't explode but _sparkle_ under the sun. Seriously? That's so gay. I bet Ruka's ass that they even wear make-up to keep their lips red and their skin pale!

**#22: Sakura Trees**

I simply hate it because her last name is in there. God. Did her great-great-great-great grandfather named that freaking tree?

**#23: Noise**

When I want peace of quiet, _she _comes around and starts talking about how her expressionless best friend makes her happy and how Ando is oh-so cool. Hn.

That's the worst noise.

**#24: Idiots**

They always surrounded me and because of my luck, I'm stuck with the _biggest_ one.

**#25: This Hate List**

I can't believe I'm wasting my life with this load of crap. But that _airhead_ had to suggest writing a hate list aloud!

**#26: Fairy Tales**

They're impossible. But _she _still believes some guy in a flowery suit with a fat-ass donkey would come to get her. What a loser.

**#27: Fan Girls**

The way they worship is annoying as hell. It pisses me off when they hold up those "I Love You" signs. Although that big-mouth girl would be an exceptional fan girl.

Not because I want to hear her scream, "I Love You" at me or anything.

I just thought her loud voice would work fine as a fan girl and her constant annoying, persistent self is perfect for it too.

**#28: Life**

It's a torture. It's a waste. It's like a crappy roller coaster.

But at least there's someon- I mean, _something_ that would stay by my side and make the whole ride less lonely.

After all, a roller coaster always has two seats.

**#29: Homework**

I hate it so much because it's pointless and because _she_ irritates me when I don't do it.

**#30: Justin Bieber**

One, he's Canadian. Two, he's a girl trapped inside a guy's body. Three, his voice is enough to make me vomit. That's why I usually haul _her _hair till she stopped playing the wretched music.

**#31: _Her_ Fan Boys**

They're all retarded idiots as they try to get to _her_ but I'm like:

"YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!"

Then I beat the shit out of them. Though they kept coming back with flowers and chocolates for her like little ants! … I fucking hate them.

**#32: Smiling**

It hurts my cheeks so I never tried to.

But then, this _idiot_ walks up to me with some crazy smile and I found myself smiling back because there was broccoli stuck between her teeth. Weirdo.

**#33: Phone**

I don't own one anymore because it kept on beeping even when I was sleeping. S_he _just kept texting me and I had to reply or she'd break my eardrums with her hollers.

Apparently, she thinks I'm in danger when I don't reply in a few minutes. That annoying idiot…

**#34: Funerals**

I hate funerals. I get to see everyone cry.

I'd think of mine and then I'd picture _her_ standing next to my grave looking so sad. It makes me feel horrible for some reasons.

**#35: What I Really Hate the Most**

Based in all the things I listed, she's related to all of them:

Sakura Mikan. If I didn't meet _her_, then I wouldn't hate these things.

But if I didn't meet her, no one would care about me as much as she does. And damn, that's what I mostly hate about her: She loves me, no matter what I do or say.

She would always stay by my side and often give me that beautiful smile.

… And what makes me hate her more is that I'm in love with her too.

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The black, raven haired boy was pretty much asleep on his desk. Beside him, the brunette knew she had to listen to their Math lesson for her to get a high grade... But due to the curiosity of why Natsume Hyuuga was fond of the new shounen manga he bought yesterday, she decided to check it while he was in slumber.

The page he was reading was bookmarked by a rumpled paper.

What she found was definitely that list. The Hate List of Natsume Hyuuga. Her emotions for it was raged, incredulous, ridiculed, grief and pleased.

After reading the last bit, she peered over and her amber eyes softened to see the boy sleeping. The corner of her lips coiled into a grin. She leaned in and whispered against his ear, "Ne, Natsume...? Do you really love me too?"

He was still asleep. She smiled once more.

She turned away, leaving him in peace but someone was grasping her wrist. His red, crimson eyes stuck on hers. "Polka..." he murmured, scanning her face, remembering the list.

"I really do."

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**A/N: **_What do you think? Too sappy? Meh. _

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